I was introduced to Henry in the early 90's by one of my best friends from high school Chris Humphrey. Chris had married his high school sweetheart Dana. They were expecting their first child and moved to the Hampton Roads area so that Chris could work at Newport News Shipbuilding.
Henry had also gone to work at NNS and was playing football through the apprentice school. He loves football!!! Anyway, during their rotations Chris and Henry met one another and became friends. Henry is from the Christiansburg area and I am also from the NRV in the Grayson County area. Chris thought that Henry and I would be a good match and introduced us via telephone. Keep in mind this was pre internet or at least the very beginning. No cell phones unless you had money!
So Henry began calling me each night at 9pm on the dot. Without fail I got a call. My mom and dad couldn't understand how I could talk with someone I had never met in person but really I can talk to anyone. Henry and I really only thought our relationship would be we would hang out when he came home to the burg and I would hang with him when I came to visit Chris and Dana. Well we clicked we could talk for hours and usually did. Poor Henrys phone bill was awful.
We talked on the phone for about 3 months before we met face to face. Once we did we had Zack pretty quick and I moved to Hampton. Like I said I never do things the way they should be! I moved to Hampton in September of 1994 and we were married on March 11th 1995. So we lived our life had our second son Dylan in October of 1996.
We eventually moved back to the NRV area of the state. Having 2 little ones and no family was hard. We ended up in Carroll County where we had both went to work for Burlington. Just as all textiles did in that time thanks to NAFTA our jobs where shipped out of the country. This in some ways became the start of our end.
Henry went back to school for his AUTO Cad degree and I ended up at NRB Industries working to keep insurance on us and life moving along for both of us. We began drifting so far apart we didn't know each other anymore. We separated just after Christmas of 2000. We stayed separated for a short time until just after my Nannie passed in March of 2001. We got back together and tried so hard to make it work. Things didn't get much better and we separated for good in May of 2002. This is where things went to hell in a hand basket.
I was working 2nd shift at Wayne Tex in Hillsville and seeing the kids next to zero. Henry had moved to Christiansburg staying with his brother and parents. I during this time had gotten a wild hair up my butt and turned to going out all the time instead of leaning on the church and my family. Who I will say was none too happy with me and at the time I was mad but now thankful for the things that happened.
Henry and I got into a custody battle. I had began dating this guy that was far different from anything in my life at that time. With him and others I got addicted to drugs mainly cocaine and meth. Ended up being more meth because of the cost. Henry won custody of the boys and I got visitation. What a crappy mom I was. Things with my drug use and relationships with family members only got worse.
After I lost custody of the kids my addiction spiraled out of control. We (the dork I was with) and I went to Georgia where he had family. The plan was to get away from such easy access to drugs and the party scene and get clean. Meanwhile with our families Henry is doing all he can to give the boys a good life.
We ended up in Brunswick Georgia staying with his aunt. His grandmother was suffering with cancer and I had no idea what a pivotal role these women were going to play in my life. I kept up our end of the bargain and as of May 19th 2003 I used drugs for the last time. PRAISE GOD. Cheri and Blanche (aunt and grandmother) took me to see their pastor, Pastor McDonald. He prayed with me for hours on end. They got me in to church each time the doors were open. God saw me through the horrible withdrawals and cravings. As this was all taking place the one I was with was getting worse.
He had begun using crack among other new things. One night he got very upset with me, busted my vehicle up, beat me til I was black and blue. Much to his dismay he was sent packing on a Greyhound back to Virginia. The only other time I saw him was when he came back for his grandmothers funeral.
I was better off without him and should have known that before with all the crap (that I didn't mention) he put me through.
I had taken a job at Sears and met some friends I am still close to til this day Nadya and Aleece. Without them while I was there I don't know that I would have survived. The time came that I had been clean for nearly 2 years. So in January of 2005 I came back to Virginia where I lived with my cousin Shelia and her family
I still was estranged from my mom and dad and now looking back I understand whey they handled things the way they did. I had to hit rock bottom to get clean. i had lost them, my kids, my job, my home. I had been in and out of a couple of hospitals because of mental problems the drugs were causing.
So I came back got in touch with Henry about seeing the boys. He was a bit reluctant but knew the boys and I needed each other. Dylan was a bit more standoffish than Zack but they had been through so much. Henry invited me to Zack's birthday party where I would face both sides of the family AT ONCE! Talk about nerves. I went in with a smile head held up and did one of the hardest things I have ever done. I faced all those people I had hurt, mad angry and let down.
We went on with life and I saw the boys very regular. One weekend I had plans for the boys and someone where I worked stole every penny I had. I called Henry in tears, at this point we would talk some on the phone. He came and the four of us went out together. When we got back that night Henry took me aside before he and the boys left and gave me some money and kissed me!!!! Talk about being taken aback. Here were two people at point that couldn't stand the sight of each other. Now here we were he was kissing me and I forgotten how good of a kisser he is!
We proceeded with caution as there was alot of history. People in our lives were not thrilled about the idea of us being together. The four of us spent more and more time together. The plant that I was working in in Carroll County burnt down so i went to spend the summer with the guys in the trailer they were living in and really never went back to my cousins house.
Henry and I had many long talks putting all our cards on the table about what we expected discussing what had happened in the past and what we both wanted. We made sure the boys were okay with us getting back together and they were. What kids don't want their parents back together.
I wouldn't go around our extended families for awhile because I was scared some were still pretty angry. I remember Zack saying to me one day when I was crying he was about in 6th grade. He said mom we (meaning he his brother and his dad) love you and forgive you so shouldn't everyone else. From them on I never questioned again whether I was where I was supposed to be.
In May of 2007 May 26th we got remarried. My boys gave me away this time.We have been rebuilding our family ever since. It has been tough at times and i won't lay all the fights and dirty laundry with everyone at one time or another out but we are in a great place. God gave me a man that was full of love and forgiveness. OH I forgot to mention that our divorce that was eventually filed went final on our 9 year anniversary! But we just picked up in years where we left off. In our vows both times it was said til death do us part so we weren't dead all that time so we will be celebrating 16 years of a marriage with many ups and downs!
So that is our story. I hope you find the moral of it as I am that God is a God of second chances and He will carry you through your darkest hours. So just when you think life will never get better and you have it all figured out NOPE go with His plan not yours.
